God himself set the order of things. We know women do things and men do things, different things. Men are naturally stronger physically. Yet, a woman endures the pain of childbirth. That’s some strength. Different. Yet, they are equal. The order: man is to be the head of the household; be a godly man who leads the family in spiritual matters; he takes his family to church. This is all done alongside a godly woman. The Bible says they are “one flesh” working together. And He gives instructions for raising children.
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Fatherhood is minimized and misunderstood. God instructs fathers in their role. Prisons are full of people who had no godly father. Why is this important? A godly father is the greatest preacher. If we don’t get back to godly parents, this nation is done. Where there is no family, there are no communities, no nation. Paul gives a warning of what to avoid and what to do.
Don’t provoke. Build trust. How? Harsh discipline without love is not the way. Discipline needs to be done out of love, not anger. Teach and discipline while they are younger, so they grow into better adults. All in love. Today kids see so much rage in their fathers. Addictions feed this rage. Something goes wrong. Rage. Kids see it so much it becomes normal. It teaches them the wrong ways. Discipline must be consistent. Rules with consequences. Our heavenly Father provided our instructions in His Word and chastises us when we do wrong. He shows us the right way. Fathers must do the same for their children. Yet, we see children being “led over the cliff” by fathers who set unrealistic demands. They push their children into things they don’t want to do. I’ve seen fathers push a kid to play baseball because it was his dream when the child would rather play another sport. This provokes a child.
Then we see neglect. Being elsewhere when you should be with your family. Don’t be an absent father (or mother). Don’t pursue anything, even money, instead of being with family. We do have to work and provide. Be careful not to go overboard at the expense of the family.
Others show favoritism. Do not prefer one child over another. Treat them the same. God treats us all the same. He deals differently but all are treated the same. King Saul started well, but then we see him willing to kill his son because he disobeyed an order. It was given by the king to all of the men. Jonathan didn’t know; he wasn’t present when it was given. That act resulted in Saul losing the heart of Jonathan.
A father’s responsibility is to bring his children up by nurturing them. Intentional development requires involvement. Train them correctly. They’ll remember what you teach them when they’re older just like a soldier remembers what to do in battle–his training in boot camp. Be present. Give them your time. Show them Jesus.
A father’s method: discipline with love. Teach the right way guided by love, not anger. Speak truth consistently. Balance discipline with love. Otherwise, there is disorder. There are different ways of discipline. What works for one child may not work for the other. Everything a father does should direct his children to the Lord. Without knowing God, a child has nothing. Money means nothing if you don’t know God. Teach children the fear of the Lord. To know Him. To love Him.
The family unit is bookended by a godly father on one end and a godly mother on the other. Let’s do what Joshua said: “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Adwolfe Freewill Baptist Church 